I'm not sure if this counts as your intro or not but I relate closely to your planner. Mine is color coded, all over the place and is literally the only thing that keeps me from going crazy!
I really enjoyed reading your introduction for your storybook! Honestly I'm not usually a very big cat person but Oliver and Phylix look so adorable. I bet you and your roommates have a lot of fun and adventures with them. In your introduction I really liked how well you described both cats. It really helped me understand how Phylix is the older experienced cat that just wants to chill, while Oliver is pretty energetic and is always looking for some adventure. I cant wait to see how you portray their personalities in your storybook. I also thought it was super unique how you plan to tell your story in a diary form, that way it will make it super easy for us to know what Oliver and Phylix think about their ghost adventures. Keep up the good work, ill be excited to see read more!
Courtney, This is such a cute and original idea! I bet Oliver and Phylix will get into such trouble in that haunted house! Any idea what your first story will be based off of? I bet you will really make both of the cats personalities shine through in their adventures through the haunted house. Will the be story tellers about past adventures they had or will they be a part of the action as the stories go on? There are so many ways that you can go with this haunted house idea. Who will be the main protagonist in all of these stories? Will it be Oliver because he is young and outgoing? I have a feeling it will be sort of Pinky and the Brain style with Oliver getting into antics with the ghosts and the Phylix having to come along and make sure nothing too crazy happens. Can't wait to see where you take this!
Hi! I absolutely love my cat Mr. Whiskers so I can relate to how much you must love Oliver. I think telling stories from a cats perspective is actually very cool and original. Two adventurous best friends sharing their stories is great. I think it will make for an awesome storybook. The fact that the cat is black and he will also be helping ghosts move on is perfect for this Halloween and fall season! I love ghostly stuff so I think I will really enjoy your stories. I can't wait to read your first story so I can actually see how it will play out. The only recommendation I have for your introduction would be to change it so that it is Oliver who is introducing himself and his situation. I know that might be too much work for a revision, but I think making him the voice of everything would be really cool! Good job!
Great introduction! I think that this is such an original and interesting story idea! I think it is great that you are using your own pet for inspiration. It will make the story more personable and interesting. You had a big WOW moment when you talked about how the cats seemed to be playing independently or with something you couldn’t see! I didn’t know this was a ghost story (I missed the title) so it was a pleasant surprise to see that element incorporated into the story! I have a dog and she is always barking at empty rooms and chasing nothing, so the idea that animals can see ghosts is something I totally agree with. I like that you are going to tell the story from Oliver’s point of view! It might be interesting if you have him play the detective to find out who the ghost is!! I look forward to reading more of your writing!!
Courtney, Your introduction is just as informative as it needs to be and I like how you chose to foreshadow the upcoming stories. The idea of your theme is both unique and cute! I love animals and I can't imagine the stories that you are going to come up with about the adventures of Oliver and Phylix. It was a good idea to use your real pets as the main characters of the stories because you can also use situations that may have happened in real life. It may not particularly involve ghosts, but I like that I can read these stories while picturing real-life cats. The setting of a story is also very important and I think by choosing your own house is creative! You have the opportunity to tie in personal items while also writing a fantasy story.
I really enjoyed your introduction a lot. It was very informative descriptive about Phylix and Oliver. I also really like how the story is based on your two cats, which are super adorable btw and im not really a cat person. I liked what you said in your authors note about not introducing too many characters at one time and how you really fociused on Oliver in the first one. I think that was a good idea, because each story you can develope a new character rather than having to do it all at once. I really liked in your first diary entry how you really developed Oliver, as a energetic young cat thats a bit overweight, I laughed at the fat jokes you made. But I thought the story was super well written and I cant wait to read more about Oliver and Phylix's next ghost adventure.
I enjoyed reading about your cat Oli and your introduction. I would note the verb tenses when demonstrating Oli's actions and thought processes. It's been an issue I have in my writing as well, so I have been trying to pay closer attention to as well. I was wow'd with your efforts and description in the diary. It definitely shows that you put a lot of effort in combining your readings and demonstrating Oli's everyday behaviors. I'm curious about his future encounters and reading up more about lil Oli. What if you wrote this diary post in past tense completely in past tense as though he were describing the experience. There are parts in your writing that are like that, but doing it completely is just some food for thought.
I really enjoyed reading your storybook thus far! Your introduction made for a great and informed start to your work. One part I particularly liked was how well you did in your characterization of Oli. It is hard to get any reader on board that they are now in the head of an animal but your writing and creativity helped me slip into that mindset without too much trouble! Something I did notice was your verb tense throughout the piece, it changed from active to passive in some instances. I only say this because I have trouble moving from passive to active verbs in my storybook so I am hyper aware of it now. Other than that though, I was thoroughly impressed with your writing in thus far! Maybe for further consideration I would suggest reading over your piece and finding areas to add even more detail into. It could be a good proofreading tactic to write the most captivating story you can! Keep up the great work! Cannot wait to read more!
I really enjoyed reading your story. I like that you have a picture of Phylix on the opening page and also at the end of the story. It really helps when thinking this story is coming from a cat's perspective. I like the detail you go into with it being from a cat's prospective. The one thing that I was wondering about is Oliver a cat as well? When reading your story I just assumed that he was a cat. I like the idea that cats can understand what humans are saying. I also think its funny that when his mom was saying Pele he thought she was talking about him. I think this is a great story and I can't wait to hear more about what Phylix does next. Is he going to try to go to Hawaii? Will he catch his tail on fire again? I look forward to finding out.
Courtney, I love your cover page. This is actually the second storybook about a cat I am about to read. That is a beautiful cat on the cover. I love the template you picked. It sets the tone of the friendly ghost very well. My only concern is how your side pages are set up. When I first clicked on the link I completely skipped your introduction. Maybe think about switching the cover page link to the top of the list and your first story to the bottom of the list.
Your Introduction I am guessing you are roommates with Lauren? She did her storybook about her cat and Oliver. I love that you both used each others cats. You had a couple of typos and missed a couple of words here and there. I really like how you explained how Oliver come to live with you and your roommates. I also like that you added a small diary entry at the end of your introduction.
Your first story: I know I already said this above but maybe think about changing your link order. I ended up clicking on your second story first also because it said part one. But on to your actual story. Wow the dairy entry was really good. You kept me engaged the whole time. Just make sure towards the end you stay in past or present tense. There was just a little flip flopping. I also love the picture you chose for the end.
Your Second story: Once again you did a great good with description! I could totally see the two cat sunbathing in the front of the window. I'm really sad that this story was so short! I wish I could keep reading it. I really like the idea of the diary entry. I almost makes this feel like a real blog post.
I can't wait to come back and read more of your story!
Courtney, great storybook idea! I'm a huge fan of ghost stories, and according to a lot of people who know more about all of this than me animals are really tied in and sensitive to the supernatural. That being said, I think telling your ghost stories from the viewpoint of your cat is a great idea. I'm ready to read part two of your kindergartner story and see where you take that. I feel like it's going to be good. Hope you have a great week!
Hey Courtney, Your introduction was really informative. I like how you added small descriptions of the cats. You didn’t really go in depth but you added just enough to introduce them. You also did a great job at explaining what we should expect as we read through your stories. Making this storybook about the cats is very clever because it definitely drew my attention. I think it’s interesting to see what kind of day a cat has while they are home alone. One thing I wonder is that you mentioned Oliver has anxiety. Will that play a role in one of the stories and will he have a bad experience when he encounters a ghost? Both of your stories seem to be good experiences for Oliver so far so I’m curious to see if anxiety will take a toll in the next stories. I really like Oliver’s character and how he helps the ghost move on. I am excited to come back and read the rest of the stories!
I really like this idea for a storybook? Is your roommate (Phylix’s mom) also in this class? I feel like I’ve read about these two cats in another storybook. Two years ago I lived with four other girls in a house behind campus corner. We swear it was haunted as well, but with a nice ghost; we even named her Francis. I really like that your storybook involves stories about cats because it is a fun topic that a lot of people will like reading about. Your writing is very good and easy to understand; yet it also contains a lot of detail and suspense. I like that you broke your story into paragraphs/sections so that it has a nice flow and is not just one long story. I also like that you did a to be continued for your solider story. This leaves the reader wanting more, which is a great way to get people to return to your storybook!
Hey Courtney! I am really not into ghosts, let alone ghost stories. That's so creepy that your cats notice supernatural things. I think it is so creative to have a storybook dedicated to that and also really fun. A lot of story books include animals, but very few of them are household animals. I think the fact that it is all based on real things makes this storybook that much creepier. It gives it another complex. The detail of the cats was great and it almost seems like nothing is going to happen. But then when the boy is introduced, it makes the story a million times more interesting and creepier, in my opinion. But again, I'm not a fan of ghosts. There are so many unanswered questions at the end of the story, even though we know that the boy and his mom were trying to find their resting place. I'm hoping that in the next chapter we will get an answer to this cliffhanger, because I know it could be a really sweet story on such a creepy topic.
Wow, you did a great job with this-- I have never even thought about writing a ghost story for this class, but after reading yours it is interesting in hindsight why I haven't... or why others in this class haven't! In my sorority house we have a ghost and she actually haunted the third floor... the attic door at the end of the hall would randomly creep open or my friends would hear creaky floorboards squealing almost as if they were being stepped on even when they were the only ones on the floor... the water would also randomly start running to the bathtub in the annex even when nobody had been in there for days. Super freaky stuff. I like that you make the story about a boy and his mother- that is a relationship that is never seen as a positive one in most stories I feel like. I want to read your next chapter to find out what happens next!
I'm not sure if this counts as your intro or not but I relate closely to your planner. Mine is color coded, all over the place and is literally the only thing that keeps me from going crazy!
ReplyDeleteHey Courtney,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your introduction for your storybook! Honestly I'm not usually a very big cat person but Oliver and Phylix look so adorable. I bet you and your roommates have a lot of fun and adventures with them. In your introduction I really liked how well you described both cats. It really helped me understand how Phylix is the older experienced cat that just wants to chill, while Oliver is pretty energetic and is always looking for some adventure. I cant wait to see how you portray their personalities in your storybook. I also thought it was super unique how you plan to tell your story in a diary form, that way it will make it super easy for us to know what Oliver and Phylix think about their ghost adventures. Keep up the good work, ill be excited to see read more!
Courtney, This is such a cute and original idea! I bet Oliver and Phylix will get into such trouble in that haunted house! Any idea what your first story will be based off of? I bet you will really make both of the cats personalities shine through in their adventures through the haunted house. Will the be story tellers about past adventures they had or will they be a part of the action as the stories go on? There are so many ways that you can go with this haunted house idea. Who will be the main protagonist in all of these stories? Will it be Oliver because he is young and outgoing? I have a feeling it will be sort of Pinky and the Brain style with Oliver getting into antics with the ghosts and the Phylix having to come along and make sure nothing too crazy happens. Can't wait to see where you take this!
ReplyDeleteHi!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love my cat Mr. Whiskers so I can relate to how much you must love Oliver. I think telling stories from a cats perspective is actually very cool and original. Two adventurous best friends sharing their stories is great. I think it will make for an awesome storybook. The fact that the cat is black and he will also be helping ghosts move on is perfect for this Halloween and fall season! I love ghostly stuff so I think I will really enjoy your stories. I can't wait to read your first story so I can actually see how it will play out. The only recommendation I have for your introduction would be to change it so that it is Oliver who is introducing himself and his situation. I know that might be too much work for a revision, but I think making him the voice of everything would be really cool! Good job!
Great introduction! I think that this is such an original and interesting story idea! I think it is great that you are using your own pet for inspiration. It will make the story more personable and interesting. You had a big WOW moment when you talked about how the cats seemed to be playing independently or with something you couldn’t see! I didn’t know this was a ghost story (I missed the title) so it was a pleasant surprise to see that element incorporated into the story! I have a dog and she is always barking at empty rooms and chasing nothing, so the idea that animals can see ghosts is something I totally agree with. I like that you are going to tell the story from Oliver’s point of view! It might be interesting if you have him play the detective to find out who the ghost is!! I look forward to reading more of your writing!!
ReplyDeleteCourtney,
ReplyDeleteYour introduction is just as informative as it needs to be and I like how you chose to foreshadow the upcoming stories. The idea of your theme is both unique and cute! I love animals and I can't imagine the stories that you are going to come up with about the adventures of Oliver and Phylix. It was a good idea to use your real pets as the main characters of the stories because you can also use situations that may have happened in real life. It may not particularly involve ghosts, but I like that I can read these stories while picturing real-life cats. The setting of a story is also very important and I think by choosing your own house is creative! You have the opportunity to tie in personal items while also writing a fantasy story.
Courtney,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your introduction a lot. It was very informative descriptive about Phylix and Oliver. I also really like how the story is based on your two cats, which are super adorable btw and im not really a cat person. I liked what you said in your authors note about not introducing too many characters at one time and how you really fociused on Oliver in the first one. I think that was a good idea, because each story you can develope a new character rather than having to do it all at once. I really liked in your first diary entry how you really developed Oliver, as a energetic young cat thats a bit overweight, I laughed at the fat jokes you made. But I thought the story was super well written and I cant wait to read more about Oliver and Phylix's next ghost adventure.
Courtney,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading about your cat Oli and your introduction.
I would note the verb tenses when demonstrating Oli's actions and thought processes. It's been an issue I have in my writing as well, so I have been trying to pay closer attention to as well.
I was wow'd with your efforts and description in the diary. It definitely shows that you put a lot of effort in combining your readings and demonstrating Oli's everyday behaviors.
I'm curious about his future encounters and reading up more about lil Oli.
What if you wrote this diary post in past tense completely in past tense as though he were describing the experience. There are parts in your writing that are like that, but doing it completely is just some food for thought.
Courtney,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your storybook thus far! Your introduction made for a great and informed start to your work. One part I particularly liked was how well you did in your characterization of Oli. It is hard to get any reader on board that they are now in the head of an animal but your writing and creativity helped me slip into that mindset without too much trouble!
Something I did notice was your verb tense throughout the piece, it changed from active to passive in some instances. I only say this because I have trouble moving from passive to active verbs in my storybook so I am hyper aware of it now. Other than that though, I was thoroughly impressed with your writing in thus far!
Maybe for further consideration I would suggest reading over your piece and finding areas to add even more detail into. It could be a good proofreading tactic to write the most captivating story you can!
Keep up the great work! Cannot wait to read more!
Belle
I really enjoyed reading your story. I like that you have a picture of Phylix on the opening page and also at the end of the story. It really helps when thinking this story is coming from a cat's perspective. I like the detail you go into with it being from a cat's prospective. The one thing that I was wondering about is Oliver a cat as well? When reading your story I just assumed that he was a cat. I like the idea that cats can understand what humans are saying. I also think its funny that when his mom was saying Pele he thought she was talking about him. I think this is a great story and I can't wait to hear more about what Phylix does next. Is he going to try to go to Hawaii? Will he catch his tail on fire again? I look forward to finding out.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteCourtney,
ReplyDeleteI love your cover page. This is actually the second storybook about a cat I am about to read. That is a beautiful cat on the cover. I love the template you picked. It sets the tone of the friendly ghost very well. My only concern is how your side pages are set up. When I first clicked on the link I completely skipped your introduction. Maybe think about switching the cover page link to the top of the list and your first story to the bottom of the list.
Your Introduction I am guessing you are roommates with Lauren? She did her storybook about her cat and Oliver. I love that you both used each others cats. You had a couple of typos and missed a couple of words here and there. I really like how you explained how Oliver come to live with you and your roommates. I also like that you added a small diary entry at the end of your introduction.
Your first story: I know I already said this above but maybe think about changing your link order. I ended up clicking on your second story first also because it said part one. But on to your actual story. Wow the dairy entry was really good. You kept me engaged the whole time. Just make sure towards the end you stay in past or present tense. There was just a little flip flopping. I also love the picture you chose for the end.
Your Second story: Once again you did a great good with description! I could totally see the two cat sunbathing in the front of the window. I'm really sad that this story was so short! I wish I could keep reading it. I really like the idea of the diary entry. I almost makes this feel like a real blog post.
I can't wait to come back and read more of your story!
Courtney, great storybook idea! I'm a huge fan of ghost stories, and according to a lot of people who know more about all of this than me animals are really tied in and sensitive to the supernatural. That being said, I think telling your ghost stories from the viewpoint of your cat is a great idea. I'm ready to read part two of your kindergartner story and see where you take that. I feel like it's going to be good. Hope you have a great week!
ReplyDeleteHey Courtney,
ReplyDeleteYour introduction was really informative. I like how you added small descriptions of the cats. You didn’t really go in depth but you added just enough to introduce them. You also did a great job at explaining what we should expect as we read through your stories. Making this storybook about the cats is very clever because it definitely drew my attention. I think it’s interesting to see what kind of day a cat has while they are home alone. One thing I wonder is that you mentioned Oliver has anxiety. Will that play a role in one of the stories and will he have a bad experience when he encounters a ghost? Both of your stories seem to be good experiences for Oliver so far so I’m curious to see if anxiety will take a toll in the next stories. I really like Oliver’s character and how he helps the ghost move on. I am excited to come back and read the rest of the stories!
I really like this idea for a storybook? Is your roommate (Phylix’s mom) also in this class? I feel like I’ve read about these two cats in another storybook. Two years ago I lived with four other girls in a house behind campus corner. We swear it was haunted as well, but with a nice ghost; we even named her Francis. I really like that your storybook involves stories about cats because it is a fun topic that a lot of people will like reading about. Your writing is very good and easy to understand; yet it also contains a lot of detail and suspense. I like that you broke your story into paragraphs/sections so that it has a nice flow and is not just one long story. I also like that you did a to be continued for your solider story. This leaves the reader wanting more, which is a great way to get people to return to your storybook!
ReplyDeleteHey Courtney! I am really not into ghosts, let alone ghost stories. That's so creepy that your cats notice supernatural things. I think it is so creative to have a storybook dedicated to that and also really fun. A lot of story books include animals, but very few of them are household animals. I think the fact that it is all based on real things makes this storybook that much creepier. It gives it another complex. The detail of the cats was great and it almost seems like nothing is going to happen. But then when the boy is introduced, it makes the story a million times more interesting and creepier, in my opinion. But again, I'm not a fan of ghosts. There are so many unanswered questions at the end of the story, even though we know that the boy and his mom were trying to find their resting place. I'm hoping that in the next chapter we will get an answer to this cliffhanger, because I know it could be a really sweet story on such a creepy topic.
ReplyDeleteHey Courtney!
ReplyDeleteWow, you did a great job with this-- I have never even thought about writing a ghost story for this class, but after reading yours it is interesting in hindsight why I haven't... or why others in this class haven't! In my sorority house we have a ghost and she actually haunted the third floor... the attic door at the end of the hall would randomly creep open or my friends would hear creaky floorboards squealing almost as if they were being stepped on even when they were the only ones on the floor... the water would also randomly start running to the bathtub in the annex even when nobody had been in there for days. Super freaky stuff.
I like that you make the story about a boy and his mother- that is a relationship that is never seen as a positive one in most stories I feel like. I want to read your next chapter to find out what happens next!