It was year 2092 when life on Earth vanished from a mysterious environmental explosion that covered the whole planet. In comparison to the world’s population there was an infinitesimal amount of people who were able to escape just before the explosion in the space station now known as Traejerron. Over the years the community reproduced and began to efficiently survive on the space station. For everyone to continue to obey the laws before them a council and chief was formed to keep order. The council contains six people along with Chief Malent. The engineers of the space station just recently informed the chief and his council that the resources used to survive will soon be unobtainable and the Traejerron will soon die off along with the people inside it. Because of the recent news Chief Malent and the council have decided to quickly organize an experiment where one woman and one man will be sent to Earth to prospect it and see if it is livable.
Alan and Elizabeth were normal people who performed their tasks each day on the space station without knowing that the other even existed. When they received news that they were randomly chosen for an unexplainable quest they had no idea what to expect. Both Alan and Elizabeth were informed on what their intentions were once they arrived and warned about the unknown life that possibly came about after the explosion. They departed together as strangers hoping that they would be able to live on to see the end of Traejerron and the beginning of new life on Earth.
~~~
The ride down to Earth was bumpy and filled with awkward silence and small talk. As they landed on the assigned coordinates they were relieved to be able to breathe realizing that oxygen was still accessible. Alan began to build shelter since he could foresee an oddly colored storm coming while Elizabeth went out searching for food and objects that could possibly help them build shelter and tools. The sun began to set as she ventured out into the woods making it harder to see each minute. As she turned the corner making her last rounds picking up berries and sticks she noticed an illuminating glow out of the corner of her eye. It seemed to be a flower that was luminescent with pedals that contained a gradient of colors such as red, blue, and purple with a brightly yellow center. The flower’s characteristics were mesmerizing yet Elizabeth felt an unusual sinking feeling within that slowly pulled the life out out of her. While walking back to base camp she tried to understand what just happened. How long was I standing there? What was this mysterious flower? Could it help us? These thoughts raced through her mind but little did she know that that mysterious flower was there upholding a parasitic relationship and only made her weaker.
“Elizabeth, there you are! I was about to go look for you. It had been awhile since you left into the woods.”
“Oh yeah, sorry to make you worry… I got a bit distracted with this flo-”
“I was able to build a shelter over near that tree. I’m glad you found some sticks. Maybe you can try starting a fire. It has definitely been awhile since I had to so I might be a little rusty.”
“I can get one going.”
Elizabeth couldn’t get her mind off of the feeling that this flower inflicted upon her. It was intriguing and powerful and yet she knew it felt wrong which kept her curiosity going. Before she went to bed she told herself that tomorrow she would go back to this flower and figure out its purpose.
~~~
The feeling the warm sun beaming on Alan and Elizabeth’s face was unfamiliar but soothing to wake up to. As they got up to start their day Elizabeth was eager to head back into the woods to find the flower from last night. They split up to cover more ground to see what more this planet now offered. Throughout the day they made more and more progress documenting their experiments on the ground figuring out what could be harmless and harmful. As Alan finished his findings and called it a day he began to head towards camp. However, once he came around a cluster of tall majestic trees he noticed Elizabeth on the ground unconscious with a pale sickly complexion. He ran to her to lift her up but immediately was pulled back by the stems intact to her body as if it was some sort of IV. Instead of the mischievous flower’s stems acting as an IV pouring in nutrients it was acting more like a suction taking Elizabeth’s life away by the second. Alan pulled a knife from his bag and was able to cut off the stem that was attached to the flower. Elizabeth gasped for air after the disconnection leaving her completely delusional of what just happened. Her and Alan looked down to see the tangled vine like stem wrapping around her arm all the way from her fingertip to the top edge of her shoulder. It was a painful remembrance of giving in to even something so beautiful yet evil can only lead to degradation of one’s self and will power.
Alan looked back at the plant and saw it slowly deteriorating leaving what was now just an evil flower without its power to latch on to it’s victims. While Alan reported back to the space station about the incidence Elizabeth continued to try to detach the stem from her body. Unfortunately, it was already too late. The thorns pierced beneath her skin giving more of a deeper attachment leaving her with more than just a physical scar.
“But sir, you can’t just banish us! Earth is livable! It has only been a couple days and what other options do you have now?! We need more time.” Adam said frantically.
Chief Malent replied unpleased with the situation. “I don’t like this either, but I can’t risk infecting the community of Traejerron with what Elizabeth and you might already have! You and Elizabeth could be sick.”
“Chief Malent, please, if you would only-”
“Enough Alan. You say life on Earth is possible, right? Well, maybe it is time for you to start a new beginning. I will send down more food and supplies to get you started. We will continue to search for life on other planets and if all else fails then who knows, maybe we will meet again. Good luck, young man.” Chief Malent signed off leaving Alan and Elizabeth to their new optimistic future.
~~~
Mischievous flower
Author's Note: I chose to specify on the disobedient and deviant behavior that Eve portrayed in Adam and Eve because I felt that there was a lot of room to build my story from there. Like I said in my previous post, I chose to present the story in a more futuristic time with other pressing events such as the mysterious environmental explosion. For those of you who are familiar with the show, The 100, I based the aesthetic of my plot off that TV show. While writing the story I also decided to make the evil character/life form a beautiful flower instead of a serpent. I wanted the moral of my story to project that even the most beautiful things can be poisonous.
Bibliography: Adam and Eve, by Louis Ginzberg
This was very intriguing story! I don't know if you realize but towards the end in the dialogue you refer to "Alan" as "Adam". I love the mystery and beauty of the flower on Earth. It is very symbolic of the temptation of the apple in the creation story. There were a few areas that the wording was difficult to understand. I don't know if you meant to say the vines were intact to Elizabeth, but it might be better to say they were attached to her. I like that you chose names that were similar to Adam and Eve. I knew what story inspired yours from the beginning inspite of the vast difference. I really enjoy your writing!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this story, so much that if it were a book, pretty sure I would read it in a day. You did a great job of recreating the story of Adam and Eve. I really like that you set it in the post apocalyptic future. I must admit, I have a huge weakness for stories like this and yours is very well done. I like that you choose a Biblical story, I haven't seen many of those. Your's is unique and fun!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this story! It was beautifully written and very interesting. It made me want to keep reading it after it was done! I wonder what will happen in the future to these two in the story. I want to see what else you could write to finish this story in a different way; such as adding a new ending, or adding another story to show what would happen to them in the future! This was really cool. You might be able to change it to see how they change the world and if they even stay together in the end! Your writing is very cool and I love reading your stories. Anytime we have the chance to read someone else's stories, I will always choose yours to be one I at least can read! Awesome job.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed how you made the first paragraph just immediately catch your attention. I love reading about science-y things and seeing life on earth being impacted so heavily by an environmental explosion was a really catchy intro. I liked how it was recognizable that it was a play on adam and eve but still a separate story to the point that it never even mentioned religion. One thing I thought though, was that including the bit about the parasitic relationship might have been a little bit premature in the story. You mentioned it and just left it, which might have been purposeful to bolster suspense but also left me wondering about what could have caused that from just looking at a flower. What if you had included the details about that towards the end, when Alan had found Elizabeth collapsed? I really liked the story though, I feel like this would be the intro to a really cool book series!
ReplyDeleteWhen Alan and Elizabeth set off to explore the new Earth separately, I was very curious to know what was going to happen. The part when Alan first sees Elizabeth lying on the ground seemingly lifeless wrapped up by the flower was intense. I did not see that visual scene coming. Obviously this occurrence would make any leader hesitant to expose his or her people to potential disasters. I wonder if Alan and Elizabeth end up making a decent life for themselves, or if the people in the space station find life elsewhere. I know that is not the focus of your story but it does make me curious. Your story focused on Elizabeth and this mysterious flower. I wonder how the story would flow if you maybe added some more about her interaction with this flower. It might make a thrilling scene to detail how the flower grabs ahold of Elizabeth and sucks the life out of her. This might take away from the surprise of Alan finding her on the ground which was a nice touch. But maybe you could incorporate a flashback or Elizabeth retelling the interaction to Alan. All in all, this was a great story.
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job with the opening. I like how you set the scene for us so we weren’t lost as to what you were talking about. It gave a good background for the rest of the story. This reminds me of a book or a movie that I read a while ago. I also love Wall-e and this definitely reminds me of it! Also reminds me of the creepy movie Alien. Wow I love how this is about Adam and Eve (especially because Eva in Wall-e totally works). This was a really great story! You did a great job drawing me in. I could really picture what was going on in the story!
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